Most of us are brought up to be nice, agreeable and cooperative. We are taught it is bad to disagree, to confront and to feel angry. We are discouraged from "rocking the boat." In an ideal world there would be no need to have confrontations, nor would there be any reason to feel anger. In an ideal world there would be no need to "rock the boat." 

          Unfortunately, in the real world, there are many situations in which confrontation is necessary. In the real world, expressions of anger are appropriate and effective. In the real world, there are times when "rocking the boat" is necessary and appropriate. On such occasions, well practiced self advocacy skills are essential to having your needs met, especially following brain injury. 

       Advocacy involves identifying problems and calling for solutions. Typically, it entails confrontation, disagreements and constructive use of anger. When advocating, these qualities leave you open for rejection and criticism. Such qualities can lead to being labeled as a "complainer" or "troublemaker." You might even become a target of retaliation or harassment when you stand up for your rights. However, well practiced advocacy skills can prevent or end such unfair, and possibly illegal, treatment 

     Advocating activities might lead to you being labeled as a "complainer" or a "troublemaker." Whereas, seasoned advocates might not be phased by such labels, novices might feel intimidated by such name calling tactics. Thinking carefully about the questions in the Fear of Criticism Test, below, might help you put a fear of criticism into perspective. An advocate does risk criticism, and while it is natural to feel anxiety about criticism, it is essential to keep any anxiety in perspective. 

Fear of Criticism Test

Do you believe that people have the right to fair and  humane treatment?  Yes No Why is that so?    Do You believe that people have the right to self  determination, and  self advocacy? Yes No Get the information you need concerning individual rights and freedom/   Do you believe that your have these rights?  Yes  No Identify & Rank Order Your Goals Who is the individual who will oppose your  exercise of these rights? Yes No Do these individuals try to please you? Do you feel a need to  please these individuals? Yes No Proceed with your self advocacy, self  determination and  self management. Gather other resources & advocates  that can  help you take the risk