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Assertiveness is a way of thinking and behaving that allows a person to
stand up for his or her rights while respecting the rights of others. Nonassertive
people may be passive or aggressive. Passive individuals are not committed
to their own rights and are more likely to allow others to infringe on
their rights than to stand up and speak out. On the other hand, aggressive
persons are very likely to defend their own rights and work to achieve
their own goals but are also likely to disregard the rights of others.
Additionally, aggressive individuals insist that their feelings and needs
take precedence over other people's. They also tend to blame others for
problems instead of offering solutions.
Assertive attitudes and behaviors are at the
heart of effective advocacy. A person with an assertive attitude recognizes
that each individual has rights. These rights include not only legal rights
but also rights to individuality, to have and express personal preferences,
feelings and opinions. The assertive individual not only believes in his
or her rights but is committed to preserving those rights. An assertive
attitude is important in recognizing that rights are being violated. The
passive person is so concerned with being liked and accepted that he or
she may never recognize the need to advocate. The assertive person clearly
expresses his or her rights or needs. They tend to face problems promptly
and they focus on solutions rather than problems.
The assertive person's behaviors are designed
to promote communication and problem solving. This person uses a variety
of behaviors depending on the situation. In general, the assertive person
appears energetic yet relaxed. The Assertiveness Quiz, is a short
quiz designed to help you gain an idea of how assertive you are at this
time.
Adapted with permission from: "Don't Get Mad Get
Powerful, A Manual for building Advocacy Skills," MI P&A, 1986 |